A Baby, a Birthday, and a Bubba

Grace celebrated her first birthday this past week! I cannot believe she is one year old. 

When I first thought about getting pregnant, I thought about how nice it would be for our future baby to have a relationship with Huan well into his or her toddler years. Although our baby didn't even get one full year with Huan, I know his life--however short--touched hers. We have pictures of Huan hanging on our kitchen walls behind Grace's high chair, for example; and when I feed her, she is constantly twisting and turning, trying to see him. She coos and squeals in excitement. Sometimes she cries. We can even ask her, "Where's Bubba?" and she will turn deliberately to look at his pictures. We never, ever taught her that. She did it the first time I asked her that question. I find that so touching--and so revealing. She doesn't have the words to tell me, but I know how much Huan must have meant to her and how much she must miss him.

Every one of my posts thus far has spoken to my relationship with Huan. Today's post is in honor of Grace's.

Maternity pants, specifically the elastic bands on them, give me the eebie jeebies the way snakes and spiders do to some people. But I had to include this picture because I love it so much. I am 37 weeks pregnant and FINALLY breaking the news to Huan that Grace is "in Mommy's belly." I think he took it well. David caught this moment on camera, unbeknownst to me at the time.

I am equally in love with this picture. It marks Huan's first official interaction with Grace. We had just gotten home from her one-week pediatrician appointment. She was in the living room, sleeping in her car seat. David left the house to run an errand, and I was in the kitchen preparing something to eat. When I came in to get her, this is what I saw.  This picture "speaks 1,000 words" about Huan and his heart.

This is the first time, but certainly not the last, that we laid Grace on Huan. For this particular "photo shoot," there  were at least fifteen shots total. We moved. Grace moved. Huan never moved--not once, not even when her foot ended up in his jowls and her hand in his eye.

It is like she is seeing him, really seeing him, for the very first time. : )

One of my friends said it best: "Such 'lil pals."

Hand holding

By this time in Grace's life, we never had to "stage" a picture. Huan and Grace developed their own relationship, independent of us. He often lay next to her when she played.

"He often lay next to her when she played": Exhibit B

"OK, I practiced my 'Roooooooooar,' but I am just not a convincing lion, despite my mane and size. Let's call it a day and smooch."

"So, what do you really think of Mom's jungle themed Halloween idea?"

I like this picture because it gives a good indication of the discrepancy in sizes...

and I like this picture because it shows the discrepancy doesn't matter, least of all to Grace.

This is one of the last pictures of my babies together.  It's technically not a "good" photo. I captured it with my cell phone, and the light is not conducive to a clear, "high quality" picture. But I think it's appropriately symbolic.

I make a living teaching and touting the power of words. Language is, after all, our primary mode of conveying meaning. But neither Grace nor Huan had the capacity to verbally qualify their relationship, and yet their relationship is seemingly all the more meaningful without words. Perhaps more accurately, its meaning and value derive from the type of beauty that exists and endures beyond words.